The Veil

The other night I became upset with God. Not just a little perturbed, I was utterly annoyed and mad! I cannot even explain it; it was the weirdest thing. I know you are probably thinking I am the worst kind of person right now, but bare with me. See I was angry because I realized that I am desperate and unsatisfied. I came to a point where I recognized that there has to be more; I basically said to God "If this is all there is then I don't want it. If there is more than reveal it to me!" This was not just a request, this was me insisting the God do something. I was filled with a burning fire inside that something must be done.

I spent the next morning I spent three hours with the Lord. During this time, my anger morphed into a sort of mourning by the sweet gentleness of the Spirit. I mourned the fact that my spiritual life was lacking the intimacy and Presence of God that my heart longed for. It went deeper still: I knew that God's love for me was deeper than my mind can grasp, but I didn't truly believe it. I begged God in that moment to hit me with the realization of His love to my heart in a physical way that was more than my brain knowing it. I think in this whole process the Lord was looking down and chuckling with a huge smile, thrilled that I was so desperate. Might I tell you, I was really dramatic during these three hours because I wanted God to know that I meant serious business. That I was done settling with just the lifestyle and obedience of my faith. I took some charcoal and started drawing as I was praying and writing out my thoughts to God. In the process, I looked down and my hands, seeing them covered in deep black I wiped them all over my face just as the people in biblical days did while they were in mourning. Oh was I a sight to see! =)

I sought God that day in a real way, with real passion. This fueled the next few days to do that same. A few days later I was reading my Bible in James. I knew that between my friend Kaylin and I, one of us had a commentary on James, so I began searching in our rooms. While I was looking through her books I came across A. W. Tozers book "The Pursuit of God." Something compelled me to pick it up and look through it. I flipped open to a chapter called "Removing the Veil" and began reading, not knowing what the chapter was about. On the first page I read the sentence "I speak to thirsty hearts whose longings have been wakened by the touch of God within them..."

The Mighty One was stirring and wakening something inside of me, something that was calling me to more. I have come to realize that God is giving me a challenge and a promise. But before I am able to fully meet that challenge or believe that promise, the Lord has showed me that I need to believe He is who He says He is. If I don't believe that He is everything revealed in His Word, than what is the point? My faith is empty religious duty. Lord, I believe You are who You say You are!!

The challenge: Push past the self sin that has become the opaque veil keeping you from experiencing the Shekinah glory; the real live, active flame that resides in the Holy of Holies. Jesus' death tore the veil with the purpose of us stepping into that place of utter holiness, therefor we should not be satisfied with living in the outer courts or even the Holy place.

The Promise: We, as redeemed through the blood of Jesus Christ, and children of the Most High God, have the liberty and power to step through that veil and reside with the Presence of God for the rest of our lives.

Of course, fear amongst many other things keep us from these at times, but the reality is that the Lord wills His Presence to reside in you and me. Why do you think the Word of God uses the illustration of our bodies as temples for the Lord to dwell?

His tender voice nudge my soul to realize that there is more. I am not embarking on a journey that will involved me suffering as the Lord Jesus suffered. I need to bring my opaque veil to the cross for judgement. The cross is deadly, and will involve pain, but I know that I will not hang there forever. "There comes a moment when its work is finished and the suffering victim dies. After that is resurrection glory and power, and the pain is forgotten for joy that the veil is taken away and we have entered in the actual spiritual experience the presence of the living God." -Tozer

Lord Jesus, Shekinah Glory, I insist that you would reveal the fabric of the veil that is keeping me from experiencing your Holy Presence in a real and fresh way. I declare that I believe who You say You are and that Your promises stand true. You know that it is my hearts desire to enter into the Holy of Holies and that I am not satisfied with living in just the Holy place. Take me deeper. Empower me to tear my veil from top to bottom just as you did in the temple the day Your Son died. Rid me of the things that so easily entangle my heart. You have set my heart ablaze and I praise You for giving me passion to seek You more than I ever have before in my life. Your will be done in me. For I am declaring to my flesh "It is Finished"." Amen and Amen!