I worked in a paper mill for a summer after my first year of college. It was some of the most grueling and demanding work that I have ever done and I was one of the only females employed. I worked on a giant machine bigger than my house, and being the lowest (wo)man on the totem pole, I did all the grunt work. A normal day usually involved the sheet of paper breaking and me having to climb into the scorching hot machine to weave the paper back through and into the winder where the paper rolls on to large cores. One hot night in August, as I was working the graveyard shift, I turned the corner to walk by the machine next to mine. As I did, I saw the 5th Hand (the guy that had the same job as me, just on a difference machine) had been pulled into the winder. His entire arm was wedged between thousands of pounds of paper and steel and he was losing consciousness. I began to panic; the only thing I could think to do was scream, but the sound of the howling machines easily drowned out my frightened yell. I watched lifelessness elegantly waltz its way through the length of his body, as the chaos of people around him accompanied effortlessly.
Death is indefinitely on the guest list. It is the guest that never RSVP's but you know at any moment could show up. When it took away the brother of Mary and Martha, it left them devastated. And worse yet, Jesus hadn't shown up in time to stop it from making its brutal appearance. As I was reading this story in John 11 this past week, I couldn't help but go back to the question, "why did Jesus weep?"
It seemed to me odd that he would be so deeply moved to tears simply because he loved Lazarus. Don't get me wrong, death is something that does cause people to weep and mourn, but the fact that Jesus tells the disciples of Lazarus' death and resurrection before they had even gotten word that it had happened brought me back to the same question. What did Jesus weep when he, 1. already knew that Lazarus was dead, and 2. knew that he was going to bring him back to life?
The image in my mind of this moment is so vivid. I see Mary falling at Jesus feet in dispair, I hear the wails of other Jewish women thickening the air. Jesus, in all his humaness, bearing the heartache with his beloved friends.
However, maybe the loss and love of Lazarus wasn't only what moved Jesus to weep.
Maybe Jesus was moved to tears because of the reality of how affected his sheep are by death. Maybe the power and authority of death was so tangible in the lives of Mary and Martha that Jesus wept for the hopelessness in their hearts. Up until now, no man had been able to conquer and control death. Jesus looked into the heart of the woman crying at his feet and was troubled in all his humaness by the dispair that this death had brought. It was an enemy that had ruled for too long.
Jesus calls Lazarus to "come forth" in a beautiful display of the power of our Almighty God. This was only a foreshadowing of the ultimate display that was to come through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Hebrews 2:14-15 says, "14 Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil— 15 and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death."
I love the lyrics by John Mark McMillan that say, "The Man Jesus Christ laid death in his grave." I sit here simply amazed at the authority and power of the one we serve. I think back to the night in the paper mill where the fear of death became a reality to me. Jesus came to conquer death and give us hope in a eternal life with him. The word eternal implies the complete and utter absence of death. This concept is one of the most life-changing things that my mind can begin to comprehend; that the Man Jesus Christ laid death in his grave.
And where death dies, all things live.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
You Never Fail...
Life is fluid. One minute the world seems filled with the most beautiful rolling hills, colors and old buildings, and the next minute you see only flat lands of grey and the buildings have been demolished. My life seems to be that way lately. This is a good thing, don't get me wrong. Through this, the Lord is ebbing away this sedentary control and fear that has sat along the beaches of my life for far too long.
I was listening to a CD in my car last week, and the simple idea that kept catching my attention was this: "You are the Rock that never fails, You never fail....You will remain, after the day is done and things of earth have passed, Everlasting God." Try and apply this to anything else in life and you will, no doubt, be disappointed. To remain the same simply because you have no necessities and are completely self-sufficient, is to be God. He is completely and wholly everything that it means to be Everlasting.
We are all looking for stability. We crave it. We would explore uncharted waters to obtain it. We would climb Mt. Everest barefoot to search for it. Yet, somehow, an attribute that I could have told you about God when I was 5 years old still ends up on the back burner in my heart?
He is the Everlasting God. He will remain.
"The mind looks backward in time till the dim past vanishes, then turns and looks into the future till thought and imagination collapse from exhaustion; and God is at both points, unaffected by either."- A. W. Tozer. Our lives long for permanence yet everything around us involves change and death. This scares us and fuels our need for stability seeking. Yet knowing that when everything in this life has failed me (hope in a relationship, trust in a person, finances, parents, cars) my Savior still remains unchanged and full of affection towards me, gives me hope to cling to.
And clinging is what I have been doing lately. When life is not stable and uncertainty gnashes its ugly teeth at you, threatening to take over, hold fast! Cling to the Rock. With instability and uncertainty waiting at my front door to eat me, I have been in need of surrendering my everything to the One who was and is and will be forever more. Why not trust the One who left eternity and entered time in order to join God's eternity and man's mortality in an eternal life granting intervention? (That was a mouthful, I know). Simply, I am tired of being ruled by the fear of instability and lack of control when my life feels like a raging ocean. I am tired of seeking the short-lived situational stability when I serve a God who is the essence of stability. "You never change, You're still the same, You are the Everlasting God. You will remain, after the day is gone and the things of earth have passed; Everlasting God."
Everlasting Father, when things of this earth fail me, when I have placed my hope in something other than solid rock, when all I begin to see is grey and flat land, You are the Rock that I cling to. Let me not forget the desire for eternity and stability that I crave was created by you and for you and will only be totally fulfilled and satisfied in you. I pray that I would wake up each morning in total surrender; taking up my cross in a whole-hearted, lifelong act of devotion to You and You alone. Increase my love. Increase my holy passions. Less of me Lord, and more of unchanging You. Amen.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
The Veil
The other night I became upset with God. Not just a little perturbed, I was utterly annoyed and mad! I cannot even explain it; it was the weirdest thing. I know you are probably thinking I am the worst kind of person right now, but bare with me. See I was angry because I realized that I am desperate and unsatisfied. I came to a point where I recognized that there has to be more; I basically said to God "If this is all there is then I don't want it. If there is more than reveal it to me!" This was not just a request, this was me insisting the God do something. I was filled with a burning fire inside that something must be done.
I spent the next morning I spent three hours with the Lord. During this time, my anger morphed into a sort of mourning by the sweet gentleness of the Spirit. I mourned the fact that my spiritual life was lacking the intimacy and Presence of God that my heart longed for. It went deeper still: I knew that God's love for me was deeper than my mind can grasp, but I didn't truly believe it. I begged God in that moment to hit me with the realization of His love to my heart in a physical way that was more than my brain knowing it. I think in this whole process the Lord was looking down and chuckling with a huge smile, thrilled that I was so desperate. Might I tell you, I was really dramatic during these three hours because I wanted God to know that I meant serious business. That I was done settling with just the lifestyle and obedience of my faith. I took some charcoal and started drawing as I was praying and writing out my thoughts to God. In the process, I looked down and my hands, seeing them covered in deep black I wiped them all over my face just as the people in biblical days did while they were in mourning. Oh was I a sight to see! =)
I sought God that day in a real way, with real passion. This fueled the next few days to do that same. A few days later I was reading my Bible in James. I knew that between my friend Kaylin and I, one of us had a commentary on James, so I began searching in our rooms. While I was looking through her books I came across A. W. Tozers book "The Pursuit of God." Something compelled me to pick it up and look through it. I flipped open to a chapter called "Removing the Veil" and began reading, not knowing what the chapter was about. On the first page I read the sentence "I speak to thirsty hearts whose longings have been wakened by the touch of God within them..."
The Mighty One was stirring and wakening something inside of me, something that was calling me to more. I have come to realize that God is giving me a challenge and a promise. But before I am able to fully meet that challenge or believe that promise, the Lord has showed me that I need to believe He is who He says He is. If I don't believe that He is everything revealed in His Word, than what is the point? My faith is empty religious duty. Lord, I believe You are who You say You are!!
The challenge: Push past the self sin that has become the opaque veil keeping you from experiencing the Shekinah glory; the real live, active flame that resides in the Holy of Holies. Jesus' death tore the veil with the purpose of us stepping into that place of utter holiness, therefor we should not be satisfied with living in the outer courts or even the Holy place.
The Promise: We, as redeemed through the blood of Jesus Christ, and children of the Most High God, have the liberty and power to step through that veil and reside with the Presence of God for the rest of our lives.
Of course, fear amongst many other things keep us from these at times, but the reality is that the Lord wills His Presence to reside in you and me. Why do you think the Word of God uses the illustration of our bodies as temples for the Lord to dwell?
His tender voice nudge my soul to realize that there is more. I am not embarking on a journey that will involved me suffering as the Lord Jesus suffered. I need to bring my opaque veil to the cross for judgement. The cross is deadly, and will involve pain, but I know that I will not hang there forever. "There comes a moment when its work is finished and the suffering victim dies. After that is resurrection glory and power, and the pain is forgotten for joy that the veil is taken away and we have entered in the actual spiritual experience the presence of the living God." -Tozer
Lord Jesus, Shekinah Glory, I insist that you would reveal the fabric of the veil that is keeping me from experiencing your Holy Presence in a real and fresh way. I declare that I believe who You say You are and that Your promises stand true. You know that it is my hearts desire to enter into the Holy of Holies and that I am not satisfied with living in just the Holy place. Take me deeper. Empower me to tear my veil from top to bottom just as you did in the temple the day Your Son died. Rid me of the things that so easily entangle my heart. You have set my heart ablaze and I praise You for giving me passion to seek You more than I ever have before in my life. Your will be done in me. For I am declaring to my flesh "It is Finished"." Amen and Amen!
I spent the next morning I spent three hours with the Lord. During this time, my anger morphed into a sort of mourning by the sweet gentleness of the Spirit. I mourned the fact that my spiritual life was lacking the intimacy and Presence of God that my heart longed for. It went deeper still: I knew that God's love for me was deeper than my mind can grasp, but I didn't truly believe it. I begged God in that moment to hit me with the realization of His love to my heart in a physical way that was more than my brain knowing it. I think in this whole process the Lord was looking down and chuckling with a huge smile, thrilled that I was so desperate. Might I tell you, I was really dramatic during these three hours because I wanted God to know that I meant serious business. That I was done settling with just the lifestyle and obedience of my faith. I took some charcoal and started drawing as I was praying and writing out my thoughts to God. In the process, I looked down and my hands, seeing them covered in deep black I wiped them all over my face just as the people in biblical days did while they were in mourning. Oh was I a sight to see! =)
I sought God that day in a real way, with real passion. This fueled the next few days to do that same. A few days later I was reading my Bible in James. I knew that between my friend Kaylin and I, one of us had a commentary on James, so I began searching in our rooms. While I was looking through her books I came across A. W. Tozers book "The Pursuit of God." Something compelled me to pick it up and look through it. I flipped open to a chapter called "Removing the Veil" and began reading, not knowing what the chapter was about. On the first page I read the sentence "I speak to thirsty hearts whose longings have been wakened by the touch of God within them..."
The Mighty One was stirring and wakening something inside of me, something that was calling me to more. I have come to realize that God is giving me a challenge and a promise. But before I am able to fully meet that challenge or believe that promise, the Lord has showed me that I need to believe He is who He says He is. If I don't believe that He is everything revealed in His Word, than what is the point? My faith is empty religious duty. Lord, I believe You are who You say You are!!
The challenge: Push past the self sin that has become the opaque veil keeping you from experiencing the Shekinah glory; the real live, active flame that resides in the Holy of Holies. Jesus' death tore the veil with the purpose of us stepping into that place of utter holiness, therefor we should not be satisfied with living in the outer courts or even the Holy place.
The Promise: We, as redeemed through the blood of Jesus Christ, and children of the Most High God, have the liberty and power to step through that veil and reside with the Presence of God for the rest of our lives.
Of course, fear amongst many other things keep us from these at times, but the reality is that the Lord wills His Presence to reside in you and me. Why do you think the Word of God uses the illustration of our bodies as temples for the Lord to dwell?
His tender voice nudge my soul to realize that there is more. I am not embarking on a journey that will involved me suffering as the Lord Jesus suffered. I need to bring my opaque veil to the cross for judgement. The cross is deadly, and will involve pain, but I know that I will not hang there forever. "There comes a moment when its work is finished and the suffering victim dies. After that is resurrection glory and power, and the pain is forgotten for joy that the veil is taken away and we have entered in the actual spiritual experience the presence of the living God." -Tozer
Lord Jesus, Shekinah Glory, I insist that you would reveal the fabric of the veil that is keeping me from experiencing your Holy Presence in a real and fresh way. I declare that I believe who You say You are and that Your promises stand true. You know that it is my hearts desire to enter into the Holy of Holies and that I am not satisfied with living in just the Holy place. Take me deeper. Empower me to tear my veil from top to bottom just as you did in the temple the day Your Son died. Rid me of the things that so easily entangle my heart. You have set my heart ablaze and I praise You for giving me passion to seek You more than I ever have before in my life. Your will be done in me. For I am declaring to my flesh "It is Finished"." Amen and Amen!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Field Dweller
"Loneliness is a required course for leadership."- Elisabeth Elliot
My good friend Andrea quoted me this simple phrase a few weeks ago as I told her my anticipation for the coming school year; my anticipation being that I felt as though it was going to be a lonely year for me this coming school year. Not in sense that I won't be around people, but I guess just in my spirit. I can't really explain this feeling, but I was experiencing it last night as I lay down to sleep. I was picturing Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, anticipating his death. Not saying that mine is anything that dramatic, but who really enjoys loneliness? I despise it.
Getting to school and actually seeing some tendencies proving that loneliness may very well be lurking around the corner was a bit frightening. Lots of small clues, such as all but one of my housemates have significant others, including now, my best friend, which in itself is hard. Regardless of this, the Lord has given me a peace.
I think to the quote by Elisabeth Elliot. Loneliness is a required course for leadership.
I have always known that the Lord has given me leadership qualities, but now seeing how He is utilizing them, pushing me further and holding me to higher standards, has brought my relationship with Him to a whole new level. I don't think it is coincidence that I am reading and studying David right now. David spent many of his early years as a shepherd boy, out in the fields alone, just him and God. I am sure at times loneliness plagued David; you can see proof in some of his psalms. David had to learn to depend on the Lord, because that is all he had. There is no doubt in my mind that God's plan was perfect in Davids life, forcing him to learn while he was young to rely solely on the LORD amidst the pangs of loneliness. And through this, David developed some essentials for his role of leadership as King.
So though this may be a year of loneliness, I know that it is required for leadership; and I am ready and willing to take it on headstrong. I am excited to see how the Lord is going to be revealed to me as I am forced to consistently turn to Him. I am excited to see what songs and psalms come from this field dwelling season of my life. I am excited to sit in the wide open and sing only to the King. The wildflowers of hope sprinkle this field of mine, encouraging me that all things work together for the good.
Even all alone in a field.
My good friend Andrea quoted me this simple phrase a few weeks ago as I told her my anticipation for the coming school year; my anticipation being that I felt as though it was going to be a lonely year for me this coming school year. Not in sense that I won't be around people, but I guess just in my spirit. I can't really explain this feeling, but I was experiencing it last night as I lay down to sleep. I was picturing Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, anticipating his death. Not saying that mine is anything that dramatic, but who really enjoys loneliness? I despise it.
Getting to school and actually seeing some tendencies proving that loneliness may very well be lurking around the corner was a bit frightening. Lots of small clues, such as all but one of my housemates have significant others, including now, my best friend, which in itself is hard. Regardless of this, the Lord has given me a peace.
I think to the quote by Elisabeth Elliot. Loneliness is a required course for leadership.
I have always known that the Lord has given me leadership qualities, but now seeing how He is utilizing them, pushing me further and holding me to higher standards, has brought my relationship with Him to a whole new level. I don't think it is coincidence that I am reading and studying David right now. David spent many of his early years as a shepherd boy, out in the fields alone, just him and God. I am sure at times loneliness plagued David; you can see proof in some of his psalms. David had to learn to depend on the Lord, because that is all he had. There is no doubt in my mind that God's plan was perfect in Davids life, forcing him to learn while he was young to rely solely on the LORD amidst the pangs of loneliness. And through this, David developed some essentials for his role of leadership as King.
So though this may be a year of loneliness, I know that it is required for leadership; and I am ready and willing to take it on headstrong. I am excited to see how the Lord is going to be revealed to me as I am forced to consistently turn to Him. I am excited to see what songs and psalms come from this field dwelling season of my life. I am excited to sit in the wide open and sing only to the King. The wildflowers of hope sprinkle this field of mine, encouraging me that all things work together for the good.
Even all alone in a field.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Diagnoses
I have recently been diagnosed with an addiction. Yes, an addiction. I am not proud of this, nor have I ever realized just how much it has consumed and ruled my life. Don't worry, I am going through rehab currently. What is this struggle you may ask?
Approval addiction.
I know this because my life up until this point has reflected the following of symptoms: We find ourselves getting hurt by what others say about us, by people expressing other than glowing opinions of us, we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, we find ourselves getting competitive in ordinary situations, we live with the sense that we aren't important enough or special enough, we get envious of other's successes, if we try and impress important people, etc. ( from a book by John Piper)
When criticism makes me angry and a negative word depresses me; when a little praise can raise my spirits and when a bit of success excites me, I know I have a problem. So often we walk around with this "generalized other," being a group of people in your life whose opinion about you matters so much that it is their judgement by which we measure our success and failures. The problem is that we are just too easily satisfied! We are satisfied with the approval of others and we end up robbing ourselves of God's best by seeking others mere good. This doesn't mean that our desire for recognition is wrong, it just means we are looking in the wrong place.
This whole topic of approval has been a slap in the face to me. My sin and misguided mindset has been drug into the light, and boy is it big, hairy and ugly. How have I let this snowball for so long without being able to pinpoint the main problem. No wonder I feel so overwhelmed and burdened by the what I think the opinions of others are. One of the biggest things that has stuck out to me in this is with guy. I am guilty of trying so hard to prove myself worthy of a mans affection. Because I have a great desire to be with someone for life, I tend to be constantly making myself available and putting myself out there in order to not go unnoticed. But in reality, I don't want a man to fall in love with what I have presented to him; I want him to have watched me when no one is looking and see my heart and character.
Recently I have been really aware of reflecting on the reasons and motives behind why I am doing whatever I am doing or saying. I have been trying to take every thought captive and evaluate, and let me tell you, it is sickening to really acknowledge my selfishness, insecurities and pride.
In the sermon on the mount in Matthew 6, Jesus is speaking about the heart; about motive He gives us the opportunity to have freedom from approval addiction with the key phrase "in the secret." I have read these passages before, but never really realized how much doing things in the secret is emphasized. Scripture tells us that our rewards are not here on earth and that we don't need or want to settle for earthly rewards, a.k.a. the approval of humans. Are they not just has weak and sinful as ourselves?
The thing is, we are already approved in the Lord's eyes because of what Jesus Christ did on the cross and when we feel the need to seek the approval of others, it is if we are saying that what He did for us wasn't enough, that we need more. It all goes back to the cross.
Another area in my life that I seek approval is my God-given talents. I was thinking the other day that I rarely ever sing to the Lord in secret. I usually do because someone asks me to or I am leading worship, or maybe even a bit of me wants someone to hear me. Same with my artwork. It such a dangerous trap that I am determined to get out of. I want to be able to sing to my King without anyone in earshot and be totally satisfied to know that it was music to His ears only and He was well pleased. Secrecy is a spiritual discipline. That is a fact! We have to be diligent in practicing it so that we can overcome this addiction to human approval.
Lord, Galatians 1:10 says, "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." I pray that this would be constantly on my heart. God, weed out the sin that so easily entangles my life. I pray that my life would start reflecting this rehab that my heart is going through. That every time I receive praise I would respond in my heart thanking you, that every time I get up to sing in front of people, my heart would only be in front of you. You have the power over addictions and I pray that your power would reign in my life through prayer and spiritual discipline. Bless my life and enlarge my territory.
Approval addiction.
I know this because my life up until this point has reflected the following of symptoms: We find ourselves getting hurt by what others say about us, by people expressing other than glowing opinions of us, we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, we find ourselves getting competitive in ordinary situations, we live with the sense that we aren't important enough or special enough, we get envious of other's successes, if we try and impress important people, etc. ( from a book by John Piper)
When criticism makes me angry and a negative word depresses me; when a little praise can raise my spirits and when a bit of success excites me, I know I have a problem. So often we walk around with this "generalized other," being a group of people in your life whose opinion about you matters so much that it is their judgement by which we measure our success and failures. The problem is that we are just too easily satisfied! We are satisfied with the approval of others and we end up robbing ourselves of God's best by seeking others mere good. This doesn't mean that our desire for recognition is wrong, it just means we are looking in the wrong place.
This whole topic of approval has been a slap in the face to me. My sin and misguided mindset has been drug into the light, and boy is it big, hairy and ugly. How have I let this snowball for so long without being able to pinpoint the main problem. No wonder I feel so overwhelmed and burdened by the what I think the opinions of others are. One of the biggest things that has stuck out to me in this is with guy. I am guilty of trying so hard to prove myself worthy of a mans affection. Because I have a great desire to be with someone for life, I tend to be constantly making myself available and putting myself out there in order to not go unnoticed. But in reality, I don't want a man to fall in love with what I have presented to him; I want him to have watched me when no one is looking and see my heart and character.
Recently I have been really aware of reflecting on the reasons and motives behind why I am doing whatever I am doing or saying. I have been trying to take every thought captive and evaluate, and let me tell you, it is sickening to really acknowledge my selfishness, insecurities and pride.
In the sermon on the mount in Matthew 6, Jesus is speaking about the heart; about motive He gives us the opportunity to have freedom from approval addiction with the key phrase "in the secret." I have read these passages before, but never really realized how much doing things in the secret is emphasized. Scripture tells us that our rewards are not here on earth and that we don't need or want to settle for earthly rewards, a.k.a. the approval of humans. Are they not just has weak and sinful as ourselves?
The thing is, we are already approved in the Lord's eyes because of what Jesus Christ did on the cross and when we feel the need to seek the approval of others, it is if we are saying that what He did for us wasn't enough, that we need more. It all goes back to the cross.
Another area in my life that I seek approval is my God-given talents. I was thinking the other day that I rarely ever sing to the Lord in secret. I usually do because someone asks me to or I am leading worship, or maybe even a bit of me wants someone to hear me. Same with my artwork. It such a dangerous trap that I am determined to get out of. I want to be able to sing to my King without anyone in earshot and be totally satisfied to know that it was music to His ears only and He was well pleased. Secrecy is a spiritual discipline. That is a fact! We have to be diligent in practicing it so that we can overcome this addiction to human approval.
Lord, Galatians 1:10 says, "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." I pray that this would be constantly on my heart. God, weed out the sin that so easily entangles my life. I pray that my life would start reflecting this rehab that my heart is going through. That every time I receive praise I would respond in my heart thanking you, that every time I get up to sing in front of people, my heart would only be in front of you. You have the power over addictions and I pray that your power would reign in my life through prayer and spiritual discipline. Bless my life and enlarge my territory.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Jesus, I am resting, resting
Last night we had girls night. One of the girls on leadership's mom came and spoke to all of us girls. Our theme for girls night over the summer is Biblical Femininity and our roles as christian women. Laura's mom did such a nice job touching on so many different topics that us as women struggle with. One of these topics was contentment. She said if we look back in Genesis when Adam and Eve were in the garden, God had given the entire garden to them! Everything in it was for their use and for their benefit... except one tree. It is interesting that Satan used that one tree as a foothold for Eve. He fed her the lies that God has holding out on her and that she wasn't able to experience all that she could if she was able to eat from the tree. He planted a seed of discontentment in her heart. There was something she didn't have, so she needed to do something about it.
Discontentment is probably one of the biggest struggles for women. Are bodies aren't right, we aren't smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough. We are discontent with being single and lonely. We want to be pursued, we don't have the right job or enough money. It is never ending! She also talked about how fear and discontentment walk hand and hand. We have a fear of being lonely and not finding anyone, so we are discontent with being single. We fear what others think so we are discontent with the way the Lord made us.
Another issue Laura's mom talked about was 1 Peter 3:3-4 where it talks about women having a quiet and gentle spirit. I would always get discouraged at this verse because I am a pretty outgoing and sometimes loud person. This verse is talking about a spirit though, not personality. You can have a big personality but have a quiet and gentle spirit; and in the same way, we can have a quiet and gentle personality but not be at peace inside. It is believed that in that verse when Peter is referring to quiet and gentle spirit he is meaning a spirit that is not stirred up but anxiety and worry. This is personally convicting to me because there are many times where my spirit is not at rest; but full of concern and worry... wondering what is going to come next.
Lord teach me to have a true quiet and gentle spirit that is not stirred up by anxiety and worry, but rests in your peace that passes understanding.
Jesus I am resting, resting
In the Joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transforming power
Thou hast made me whole.
Jesus, I am resting, resting
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
O how great Thy loving kindness.
Vaster, broader than the sea!
O how marvellous Thy goodness,
Lavished all on me!
Yes, I rest in Thee, Beloved,
Know Thy certainty of promise,
And have made it mine.
Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart;
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings;
Thine is love indeed!
Ever lift Thy face upon me,
As I work and wait for Thee;
Resting 'neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus,
Earth's dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father's glory,
Sunshine of my Father's face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting;
Fill me with Thy grace.
Discontentment is probably one of the biggest struggles for women. Are bodies aren't right, we aren't smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough. We are discontent with being single and lonely. We want to be pursued, we don't have the right job or enough money. It is never ending! She also talked about how fear and discontentment walk hand and hand. We have a fear of being lonely and not finding anyone, so we are discontent with being single. We fear what others think so we are discontent with the way the Lord made us.
Another issue Laura's mom talked about was 1 Peter 3:3-4 where it talks about women having a quiet and gentle spirit. I would always get discouraged at this verse because I am a pretty outgoing and sometimes loud person. This verse is talking about a spirit though, not personality. You can have a big personality but have a quiet and gentle spirit; and in the same way, we can have a quiet and gentle personality but not be at peace inside. It is believed that in that verse when Peter is referring to quiet and gentle spirit he is meaning a spirit that is not stirred up but anxiety and worry. This is personally convicting to me because there are many times where my spirit is not at rest; but full of concern and worry... wondering what is going to come next.
Lord teach me to have a true quiet and gentle spirit that is not stirred up by anxiety and worry, but rests in your peace that passes understanding.
Jesus I am resting, resting
In the Joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transforming power
Thou hast made me whole.
Jesus, I am resting, resting
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
O how great Thy loving kindness.
Vaster, broader than the sea!
O how marvellous Thy goodness,
Lavished all on me!
Yes, I rest in Thee, Beloved,
Know Thy certainty of promise,
And have made it mine.
Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart;
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings;
Thine is love indeed!
Ever lift Thy face upon me,
As I work and wait for Thee;
Resting 'neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus,
Earth's dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father's glory,
Sunshine of my Father's face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting;
Fill me with Thy grace.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Try not. Do
I just left T-Mo's office. He has been constantly encouraging me to pursue my music. He even gave me an email address of someone he thinks I should talk to. While I was driving back from the wedding in Houghton the other day, I asked Kaylin what her greatest desire to do with her life after school is. When she returned the question to me, I began to really wrestle. I knew what was realistic for me to think, which was searching for a job in the communications major. It was so funny because when I told T-Mo that I was trying to be realistic about this he laughed at me. "Realistic is a funny word" he said. Then he read me part of this sermon that was up on his computer and he was reading right before I came in:
Often we use the word “try” signifying a lack of faith in God’s reality. By try, we often mean having the desire to do and more often than not, falling short. Many say “try” because the foundations of Christianity, revealed in Scripture, have not translated those eighteen inches from the head to the heart. She said, “I believe what you’re
saying, but I am thinking realistically.” Realistically?? Are you serious? For with God nothing will be impossible (Luke 1:37). God quickens [makes alive] the dead and calls those things that are not as though they were (Romans 4:17). God is able to do exceeding, abundantly; above ALL we could ask or think (Ephesians 3:20), and saints have the audacity to use the word “realistically!” As previously stated, one cannot be a disciple of Christ and be a realist, unless living in God’s reality. Yes, what I am saying is “ideal,” and I desire to fully grasp and live it myself, but it is what the God of the Bible requests (Matthew 5:48; I Peter 1:13-16).
Ironic? Ha, naaah...God. What my heart would love to do and has been a dream of mine forever? Sing. I want to sing! I want to use music to bring people into a relationship with Jesus Christ and bless them as much as possible. I want to serve people through music. When I sing, I experience a joy like nothing else I do.
So when I plopped myself down in T-Mo's office and essentially said "this is my desire, now what do I do? I am willing to try." Of course he had a Star Wars clip he wanted me to watch. It was the scene were Yoda is teaching Luke and tells him "No! Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try." Luke says, "I can't, its too big." Yoda tells him size does not matter. Luke states, "You want the impossible." Yoda then proceeds to do the task for Luke....Luke is in shock and says "I don't believe it!" Yoda's words are still ringing in my ears. He replies, "That is why you fail."
Who am I to say that it isn't possible. I told T-Mo I was afraid to fail. He told me that was because there is still a piece of me that cares about what I will look like to people. Pride. I don't want to look bad. I think about all the times when I walk off the stage unhappy with the way I sounded. Following the Lords will and having faith means there very well may be times when I look like I have failed to the world around me.
"God gives us passions that bring us to life." God speaks through T-Mo and I am so thankful he is around this summer. I think about the things I am passionate about: the academy girls, singing, missions... These things bring me to life. I feel a fire in my spirit when I do them. I know singing is a desire of mine, a passion. I need to be patient and wait on the Lord. But patience doesn't mean being inactive. It is hard because it is not a matter of if I want to do it or not; it's more of if I truly believe it can happen. And I know it can, because we serve a big God, but does my heart really believe it?
"Faith is getting a word from God and acting upon it. You see, you can get a word from God and believe that word. That is belief. But, when you act upon it; that is faith. Faith is belief with legs on it. " (Online Devotional from Love Worth Finding Ministries, DLD: 9/11/04).
God, I am willing. You know I love to sing. You know that it is my dream to be an artist that brings glory to your name and not my own. I don't understand why this is coming up now, but I know it is no accident and your timing is perfect. I pray for wisdom. I pray that you will lead my heart and that you will open up opportunities for me if this is what I am to do. I am ready to step out in faith, even if it looks like I have failed to the people around me. Rid me of the pride that so easily entangles me. Lord, I cannot do this on my own. I am excited Lord. I trust you. I trust your will to be done. Lead me.
Often we use the word “try” signifying a lack of faith in God’s reality. By try, we often mean having the desire to do and more often than not, falling short. Many say “try” because the foundations of Christianity, revealed in Scripture, have not translated those eighteen inches from the head to the heart. She said, “I believe what you’re
saying, but I am thinking realistically.” Realistically?? Are you serious? For with God nothing will be impossible (Luke 1:37). God quickens [makes alive] the dead and calls those things that are not as though they were (Romans 4:17). God is able to do exceeding, abundantly; above ALL we could ask or think (Ephesians 3:20), and saints have the audacity to use the word “realistically!” As previously stated, one cannot be a disciple of Christ and be a realist, unless living in God’s reality. Yes, what I am saying is “ideal,” and I desire to fully grasp and live it myself, but it is what the God of the Bible requests (Matthew 5:48; I Peter 1:13-16).
Ironic? Ha, naaah...God. What my heart would love to do and has been a dream of mine forever? Sing. I want to sing! I want to use music to bring people into a relationship with Jesus Christ and bless them as much as possible. I want to serve people through music. When I sing, I experience a joy like nothing else I do.
So when I plopped myself down in T-Mo's office and essentially said "this is my desire, now what do I do? I am willing to try." Of course he had a Star Wars clip he wanted me to watch. It was the scene were Yoda is teaching Luke and tells him "No! Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try." Luke says, "I can't, its too big." Yoda tells him size does not matter. Luke states, "You want the impossible." Yoda then proceeds to do the task for Luke....Luke is in shock and says "I don't believe it!" Yoda's words are still ringing in my ears. He replies, "That is why you fail."
Who am I to say that it isn't possible. I told T-Mo I was afraid to fail. He told me that was because there is still a piece of me that cares about what I will look like to people. Pride. I don't want to look bad. I think about all the times when I walk off the stage unhappy with the way I sounded. Following the Lords will and having faith means there very well may be times when I look like I have failed to the world around me.
"God gives us passions that bring us to life." God speaks through T-Mo and I am so thankful he is around this summer. I think about the things I am passionate about: the academy girls, singing, missions... These things bring me to life. I feel a fire in my spirit when I do them. I know singing is a desire of mine, a passion. I need to be patient and wait on the Lord. But patience doesn't mean being inactive. It is hard because it is not a matter of if I want to do it or not; it's more of if I truly believe it can happen. And I know it can, because we serve a big God, but does my heart really believe it?
"Faith is getting a word from God and acting upon it. You see, you can get a word from God and believe that word. That is belief. But, when you act upon it; that is faith. Faith is belief with legs on it. " (Online Devotional from Love Worth Finding Ministries, DLD: 9/11/04).
God, I am willing. You know I love to sing. You know that it is my dream to be an artist that brings glory to your name and not my own. I don't understand why this is coming up now, but I know it is no accident and your timing is perfect. I pray for wisdom. I pray that you will lead my heart and that you will open up opportunities for me if this is what I am to do. I am ready to step out in faith, even if it looks like I have failed to the people around me. Rid me of the pride that so easily entangles me. Lord, I cannot do this on my own. I am excited Lord. I trust you. I trust your will to be done. Lead me.
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