Try not. Do

I just left T-Mo's office. He has been constantly encouraging me to pursue my music. He even gave me an email address of someone he thinks I should talk to. While I was driving back from the wedding in Houghton the other day, I asked Kaylin what her greatest desire to do with her life after school is. When she returned the question to me, I began to really wrestle. I knew what was realistic for me to think, which was searching for a job in the communications major. It was so funny because when I told T-Mo that I was trying to be realistic about this he laughed at me. "Realistic is a funny word" he said. Then he read me part of this sermon that was up on his computer and he was reading right before I came in:

Often we use the word “try” signifying a lack of faith in God’s reality. By try, we often mean having the desire to do and more often than not, falling short. Many say “try” because the foundations of Christianity, revealed in Scripture, have not translated those eighteen inches from the head to the heart. She said, “I believe what you’re
saying, but I am thinking realistically.” Realistically?? Are you serious? For with God nothing will be impossible (Luke 1:37). God quickens [makes alive] the dead and calls those things that are not as though they were (Romans 4:17). God is able to do exceeding, abundantly; above ALL we could ask or think (Ephesians 3:20), and saints have the audacity to use the word “realistically!” As previously stated, one cannot be a disciple of Christ and be a realist, unless living in God’s reality. Yes, what I am saying is “ideal,” and I desire to fully grasp and live it myself, but it is what the God of the Bible requests (Matthew 5:48; I Peter 1:13-16).

Ironic? Ha, naaah...God. What my heart would love to do and has been a dream of mine forever? Sing. I want to sing! I want to use music to bring people into a relationship with Jesus Christ and bless them as much as possible. I want to serve people through music. When I sing, I experience a joy like nothing else I do.

So when I plopped myself down in T-Mo's office and essentially said "this is my desire, now what do I do? I am willing to try." Of course he had a Star Wars clip he wanted me to watch. It was the scene were Yoda is teaching Luke and tells him "No! Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try." Luke says, "I can't, its too big." Yoda tells him size does not matter. Luke states, "You want the impossible." Yoda then proceeds to do the task for Luke....Luke is in shock and says "I don't believe it!" Yoda's words are still ringing in my ears. He replies, "That is why you fail."

Who am I to say that it isn't possible. I told T-Mo I was afraid to fail. He told me that was because there is still a piece of me that cares about what I will look like to people. Pride. I don't want to look bad. I think about all the times when I walk off the stage unhappy with the way I sounded. Following the Lords will and having faith means there very well may be times when I look like I have failed to the world around me.

"God gives us passions that bring us to life." God speaks through T-Mo and I am so thankful he is around this summer. I think about the things I am passionate about: the academy girls, singing, missions... These things bring me to life. I feel a fire in my spirit when I do them. I know singing is a desire of mine, a passion. I need to be patient and wait on the Lord. But patience doesn't mean being inactive. It is hard because it is not a matter of if I want to do it or not; it's more of if I truly believe it can happen. And I know it can, because we serve a big God, but does my heart really believe it?

"Faith is getting a word from God and acting upon it. You see, you can get a word from God and believe that word. That is belief. But, when you act upon it; that is faith. Faith is belief with legs on it. " (Online Devotional from Love Worth Finding Ministries, DLD: 9/11/04).

God, I am willing. You know I love to sing. You know that it is my dream to be an artist that brings glory to your name and not my own. I don't understand why this is coming up now, but I know it is no accident and your timing is perfect. I pray for wisdom. I pray that you will lead my heart and that you will open up opportunities for me if this is what I am to do. I am ready to step out in faith, even if it looks like I have failed to the people around me. Rid me of the pride that so easily entangles me. Lord, I cannot do this on my own. I am excited Lord. I trust you. I trust your will to be done. Lead me.