Field Dweller

"Loneliness is a required course for leadership."- Elisabeth Elliot

My good friend Andrea quoted me this simple phrase a few weeks ago as I told her my anticipation for the coming school year; my anticipation being that I felt as though it was going to be a lonely year for me this coming school year. Not in sense that I won't be around people, but I guess just in my spirit. I can't really explain this feeling, but I was experiencing it last night as I lay down to sleep. I was picturing Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, anticipating his death. Not saying that mine is anything that dramatic, but who really enjoys loneliness? I despise it.

Getting to school and actually seeing some tendencies proving that loneliness may very well be lurking around the corner was a bit frightening. Lots of small clues, such as all but one of my housemates have significant others, including now, my best friend, which in itself is hard. Regardless of this, the Lord has given me a peace.

I think to the quote by Elisabeth Elliot. Loneliness is a required course for leadership.

I have always known that the Lord has given me leadership qualities, but now seeing how He is utilizing them, pushing me further and holding me to higher standards, has brought my relationship with Him to a whole new level. I don't think it is coincidence that I am reading and studying David right now. David spent many of his early years as a shepherd boy, out in the fields alone, just him and God. I am sure at times loneliness plagued David; you can see proof in some of his psalms. David had to learn to depend on the Lord, because that is all he had. There is no doubt in my mind that God's plan was perfect in Davids life, forcing him to learn while he was young to rely solely on the LORD amidst the pangs of loneliness. And through this, David developed some essentials for his role of leadership as King.

So though this may be a year of loneliness, I know that it is required for leadership; and I am ready and willing to take it on headstrong. I am excited to see how the Lord is going to be revealed to me as I am forced to consistently turn to Him. I am excited to see what songs and psalms come from this field dwelling season of my life. I am excited to sit in the wide open and sing only to the King. The wildflowers of hope sprinkle this field of mine, encouraging me that all things work together for the good.

Even all alone in a field.