Last night we had girls night. One of the girls on leadership's mom came and spoke to all of us girls. Our theme for girls night over the summer is Biblical Femininity and our roles as christian women. Laura's mom did such a nice job touching on so many different topics that us as women struggle with. One of these topics was contentment. She said if we look back in Genesis when Adam and Eve were in the garden, God had given the entire garden to them! Everything in it was for their use and for their benefit... except one tree. It is interesting that Satan used that one tree as a foothold for Eve. He fed her the lies that God has holding out on her and that she wasn't able to experience all that she could if she was able to eat from the tree. He planted a seed of discontentment in her heart. There was something she didn't have, so she needed to do something about it.
Discontentment is probably one of the biggest struggles for women. Are bodies aren't right, we aren't smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough. We are discontent with being single and lonely. We want to be pursued, we don't have the right job or enough money. It is never ending! She also talked about how fear and discontentment walk hand and hand. We have a fear of being lonely and not finding anyone, so we are discontent with being single. We fear what others think so we are discontent with the way the Lord made us.
Another issue Laura's mom talked about was 1 Peter 3:3-4 where it talks about women having a quiet and gentle spirit. I would always get discouraged at this verse because I am a pretty outgoing and sometimes loud person. This verse is talking about a spirit though, not personality. You can have a big personality but have a quiet and gentle spirit; and in the same way, we can have a quiet and gentle personality but not be at peace inside. It is believed that in that verse when Peter is referring to quiet and gentle spirit he is meaning a spirit that is not stirred up but anxiety and worry. This is personally convicting to me because there are many times where my spirit is not at rest; but full of concern and worry... wondering what is going to come next.
Lord teach me to have a true quiet and gentle spirit that is not stirred up by anxiety and worry, but rests in your peace that passes understanding.
Jesus I am resting, resting
In the Joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transforming power
Thou hast made me whole.
Jesus, I am resting, resting
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
O how great Thy loving kindness.
Vaster, broader than the sea!
O how marvellous Thy goodness,
Lavished all on me!
Yes, I rest in Thee, Beloved,
Know Thy certainty of promise,
And have made it mine.
Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart;
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings;
Thine is love indeed!
Ever lift Thy face upon me,
As I work and wait for Thee;
Resting 'neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus,
Earth's dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father's glory,
Sunshine of my Father's face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting;
Fill me with Thy grace.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Try not. Do
I just left T-Mo's office. He has been constantly encouraging me to pursue my music. He even gave me an email address of someone he thinks I should talk to. While I was driving back from the wedding in Houghton the other day, I asked Kaylin what her greatest desire to do with her life after school is. When she returned the question to me, I began to really wrestle. I knew what was realistic for me to think, which was searching for a job in the communications major. It was so funny because when I told T-Mo that I was trying to be realistic about this he laughed at me. "Realistic is a funny word" he said. Then he read me part of this sermon that was up on his computer and he was reading right before I came in:
Often we use the word “try” signifying a lack of faith in God’s reality. By try, we often mean having the desire to do and more often than not, falling short. Many say “try” because the foundations of Christianity, revealed in Scripture, have not translated those eighteen inches from the head to the heart. She said, “I believe what you’re
saying, but I am thinking realistically.” Realistically?? Are you serious? For with God nothing will be impossible (Luke 1:37). God quickens [makes alive] the dead and calls those things that are not as though they were (Romans 4:17). God is able to do exceeding, abundantly; above ALL we could ask or think (Ephesians 3:20), and saints have the audacity to use the word “realistically!” As previously stated, one cannot be a disciple of Christ and be a realist, unless living in God’s reality. Yes, what I am saying is “ideal,” and I desire to fully grasp and live it myself, but it is what the God of the Bible requests (Matthew 5:48; I Peter 1:13-16).
Ironic? Ha, naaah...God. What my heart would love to do and has been a dream of mine forever? Sing. I want to sing! I want to use music to bring people into a relationship with Jesus Christ and bless them as much as possible. I want to serve people through music. When I sing, I experience a joy like nothing else I do.
So when I plopped myself down in T-Mo's office and essentially said "this is my desire, now what do I do? I am willing to try." Of course he had a Star Wars clip he wanted me to watch. It was the scene were Yoda is teaching Luke and tells him "No! Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try." Luke says, "I can't, its too big." Yoda tells him size does not matter. Luke states, "You want the impossible." Yoda then proceeds to do the task for Luke....Luke is in shock and says "I don't believe it!" Yoda's words are still ringing in my ears. He replies, "That is why you fail."
Who am I to say that it isn't possible. I told T-Mo I was afraid to fail. He told me that was because there is still a piece of me that cares about what I will look like to people. Pride. I don't want to look bad. I think about all the times when I walk off the stage unhappy with the way I sounded. Following the Lords will and having faith means there very well may be times when I look like I have failed to the world around me.
"God gives us passions that bring us to life." God speaks through T-Mo and I am so thankful he is around this summer. I think about the things I am passionate about: the academy girls, singing, missions... These things bring me to life. I feel a fire in my spirit when I do them. I know singing is a desire of mine, a passion. I need to be patient and wait on the Lord. But patience doesn't mean being inactive. It is hard because it is not a matter of if I want to do it or not; it's more of if I truly believe it can happen. And I know it can, because we serve a big God, but does my heart really believe it?
"Faith is getting a word from God and acting upon it. You see, you can get a word from God and believe that word. That is belief. But, when you act upon it; that is faith. Faith is belief with legs on it. " (Online Devotional from Love Worth Finding Ministries, DLD: 9/11/04).
God, I am willing. You know I love to sing. You know that it is my dream to be an artist that brings glory to your name and not my own. I don't understand why this is coming up now, but I know it is no accident and your timing is perfect. I pray for wisdom. I pray that you will lead my heart and that you will open up opportunities for me if this is what I am to do. I am ready to step out in faith, even if it looks like I have failed to the people around me. Rid me of the pride that so easily entangles me. Lord, I cannot do this on my own. I am excited Lord. I trust you. I trust your will to be done. Lead me.
Often we use the word “try” signifying a lack of faith in God’s reality. By try, we often mean having the desire to do and more often than not, falling short. Many say “try” because the foundations of Christianity, revealed in Scripture, have not translated those eighteen inches from the head to the heart. She said, “I believe what you’re
saying, but I am thinking realistically.” Realistically?? Are you serious? For with God nothing will be impossible (Luke 1:37). God quickens [makes alive] the dead and calls those things that are not as though they were (Romans 4:17). God is able to do exceeding, abundantly; above ALL we could ask or think (Ephesians 3:20), and saints have the audacity to use the word “realistically!” As previously stated, one cannot be a disciple of Christ and be a realist, unless living in God’s reality. Yes, what I am saying is “ideal,” and I desire to fully grasp and live it myself, but it is what the God of the Bible requests (Matthew 5:48; I Peter 1:13-16).
Ironic? Ha, naaah...God. What my heart would love to do and has been a dream of mine forever? Sing. I want to sing! I want to use music to bring people into a relationship with Jesus Christ and bless them as much as possible. I want to serve people through music. When I sing, I experience a joy like nothing else I do.
So when I plopped myself down in T-Mo's office and essentially said "this is my desire, now what do I do? I am willing to try." Of course he had a Star Wars clip he wanted me to watch. It was the scene were Yoda is teaching Luke and tells him "No! Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try." Luke says, "I can't, its too big." Yoda tells him size does not matter. Luke states, "You want the impossible." Yoda then proceeds to do the task for Luke....Luke is in shock and says "I don't believe it!" Yoda's words are still ringing in my ears. He replies, "That is why you fail."
Who am I to say that it isn't possible. I told T-Mo I was afraid to fail. He told me that was because there is still a piece of me that cares about what I will look like to people. Pride. I don't want to look bad. I think about all the times when I walk off the stage unhappy with the way I sounded. Following the Lords will and having faith means there very well may be times when I look like I have failed to the world around me.
"God gives us passions that bring us to life." God speaks through T-Mo and I am so thankful he is around this summer. I think about the things I am passionate about: the academy girls, singing, missions... These things bring me to life. I feel a fire in my spirit when I do them. I know singing is a desire of mine, a passion. I need to be patient and wait on the Lord. But patience doesn't mean being inactive. It is hard because it is not a matter of if I want to do it or not; it's more of if I truly believe it can happen. And I know it can, because we serve a big God, but does my heart really believe it?
"Faith is getting a word from God and acting upon it. You see, you can get a word from God and believe that word. That is belief. But, when you act upon it; that is faith. Faith is belief with legs on it. " (Online Devotional from Love Worth Finding Ministries, DLD: 9/11/04).
God, I am willing. You know I love to sing. You know that it is my dream to be an artist that brings glory to your name and not my own. I don't understand why this is coming up now, but I know it is no accident and your timing is perfect. I pray for wisdom. I pray that you will lead my heart and that you will open up opportunities for me if this is what I am to do. I am ready to step out in faith, even if it looks like I have failed to the people around me. Rid me of the pride that so easily entangles me. Lord, I cannot do this on my own. I am excited Lord. I trust you. I trust your will to be done. Lead me.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Stranger on the Shore
Wow, it has been way to long. Well, I am currently working as the videographer at Summer's Best Two Weeks in Boswell, Pennsylvania. It has been quite the job so far....I say this in a good way of course. From the time I arrived here I have been pushed and challenged in so many ways. I was one of the first "leadership" staff to arrive and I wasn't really sure of my role yet; Basically I felt extremely inadequate. At one point I just broke down and cried because I really believed the lie that I wasn't worthy of this leadership position. Satan was whispering to me that I wasn't spiritual enough, that I wasn't old enough and that people wouldn't respect me, and that people would just be annoyed at the "newb". The Lord is faithful though, isn't He? The very next morning the Lord gave me the very 2 Timothy 1:7 that says, "For the Lord gave us not the spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-control."
Our theme of this summer here at camp is "Follow Me." So many of the sermons have been themed around this. As the videographer, Kent (the director of camp) asked if I would take a clip from The Gospel of John video and put it to a Michael Cart song called "Stranger on the Shore." I heard the song and it sounded old school, but I was like "whatevs" and clipped it together. Now as I am finishing up, I am watching the video and listening to the words and am so moved! This stranger on the shore yells out to the disciples in the boat and tells me them to drop there nets into the water, and of course, they come up with a ton of fish! John recognized that it was Jesus and then Peter jumps into the water and swims to Jesus. He was excited to see Him! The get to shore and Jesus has a fire ready and food for them to eat. The next part of the song says:
You need to be confronted
By the Stranger on the shore
You need to have Him search your soul
You need to hear the call
You need to learn exactly
What it means for you to follow
You need to realize that He's asking for your all...
They didn't realize that He was searching all their souls
Then came the painful questions
That would pierce the soul of Simon
A three fold chance to reaffirm the love he had denied
The gentle eyes that saw his heart
And waited for an answer
Had seen the look upon his face
The moment he had lied
I have heard this story so many times...but there was something about visualizing it on the video and seeing Jesus ask Peter 3 times if he loved Him. Peter, becoming more broken with each repeated question. I can relate to Peter. We all can. The same Peter who had denied Jesus out of fear was now having to sit face to face with Jesus and answer an unremarkably hard question: Do you love me? The love here Jesus uses is Agape (ultimate, self-sacrificing love)....but Peter answers with Phileo (brotherly love). Jesus is pleading with Peter to give him everything. Peter, if you love me, feed my lambs; take care of my sheep; feed my sheep. Peter was hurt by the third time Jesus asked, but that repetition was ensuring Peter to really evaluate his love for Christ.
"Jordan, do you love me? Then do my work." I can picture His gentle eyes filled with love and compassion, passing no judgement at all, staring intently into my eyes and straight to the heart. He doesnt have to ask, He knows. Yet he wants me to verbalize my love for Him. I want to cry at His tender tone of voice. I want to scream at Him, "Yes Jesus! I do love you! You know that! Why do you keep asking me?" I am speechless. I know I don't have the answer that he wants. Phileo I have, and I am confident in it. Agape though? I want it. I yearn for it. Jesus I need it! "Follow me" He says, I began to look at other people and compare. "What about them Jesus?" I say. Jordan, if you love me, follow me. I stand and feel the cool sand between my toes. The decision is imminent as Jesus begins walking; do I follow Jesus, surrendering all of my own desires for the rest of my life? Or do I stay seated next to the fire. Jesus words "Do you love me?" ring so loudly in my ears that I am temped to throw my hands up and cover them! Yes Jesus. It is what I want. I want to love you with Agape love and I want to follow you wherever you lead me.
The end of the song is my charge to you:
Now realize that you must
Face and answer all His questions
As you stand before the Stranger
On the shore inside your heart
Our theme of this summer here at camp is "Follow Me." So many of the sermons have been themed around this. As the videographer, Kent (the director of camp) asked if I would take a clip from The Gospel of John video and put it to a Michael Cart song called "Stranger on the Shore." I heard the song and it sounded old school, but I was like "whatevs" and clipped it together. Now as I am finishing up, I am watching the video and listening to the words and am so moved! This stranger on the shore yells out to the disciples in the boat and tells me them to drop there nets into the water, and of course, they come up with a ton of fish! John recognized that it was Jesus and then Peter jumps into the water and swims to Jesus. He was excited to see Him! The get to shore and Jesus has a fire ready and food for them to eat. The next part of the song says:
You need to be confronted
By the Stranger on the shore
You need to have Him search your soul
You need to hear the call
You need to learn exactly
What it means for you to follow
You need to realize that He's asking for your all...
They didn't realize that He was searching all their souls
Then came the painful questions
That would pierce the soul of Simon
A three fold chance to reaffirm the love he had denied
The gentle eyes that saw his heart
And waited for an answer
Had seen the look upon his face
The moment he had lied
I have heard this story so many times...but there was something about visualizing it on the video and seeing Jesus ask Peter 3 times if he loved Him. Peter, becoming more broken with each repeated question. I can relate to Peter. We all can. The same Peter who had denied Jesus out of fear was now having to sit face to face with Jesus and answer an unremarkably hard question: Do you love me? The love here Jesus uses is Agape (ultimate, self-sacrificing love)....but Peter answers with Phileo (brotherly love). Jesus is pleading with Peter to give him everything. Peter, if you love me, feed my lambs; take care of my sheep; feed my sheep. Peter was hurt by the third time Jesus asked, but that repetition was ensuring Peter to really evaluate his love for Christ.
"Jordan, do you love me? Then do my work." I can picture His gentle eyes filled with love and compassion, passing no judgement at all, staring intently into my eyes and straight to the heart. He doesnt have to ask, He knows. Yet he wants me to verbalize my love for Him. I want to cry at His tender tone of voice. I want to scream at Him, "Yes Jesus! I do love you! You know that! Why do you keep asking me?" I am speechless. I know I don't have the answer that he wants. Phileo I have, and I am confident in it. Agape though? I want it. I yearn for it. Jesus I need it! "Follow me" He says, I began to look at other people and compare. "What about them Jesus?" I say. Jordan, if you love me, follow me. I stand and feel the cool sand between my toes. The decision is imminent as Jesus begins walking; do I follow Jesus, surrendering all of my own desires for the rest of my life? Or do I stay seated next to the fire. Jesus words "Do you love me?" ring so loudly in my ears that I am temped to throw my hands up and cover them! Yes Jesus. It is what I want. I want to love you with Agape love and I want to follow you wherever you lead me.
The end of the song is my charge to you:
Now realize that you must
Face and answer all His questions
As you stand before the Stranger
On the shore inside your heart
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