Stranger on the Shore

Wow, it has been way to long. Well, I am currently working as the videographer at Summer's Best Two Weeks in Boswell, Pennsylvania. It has been quite the job so far....I say this in a good way of course. From the time I arrived here I have been pushed and challenged in so many ways. I was one of the first "leadership" staff to arrive and I wasn't really sure of my role yet; Basically I felt extremely inadequate. At one point I just broke down and cried because I really believed the lie that I wasn't worthy of this leadership position. Satan was whispering to me that I wasn't spiritual enough, that I wasn't old enough and that people wouldn't respect me, and that people would just be annoyed at the "newb". The Lord is faithful though, isn't He? The very next morning the Lord gave me the very 2 Timothy 1:7 that says, "For the Lord gave us not the spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-control."

Our theme of this summer here at camp is "Follow Me." So many of the sermons have been themed around this. As the videographer, Kent (the director of camp) asked if I would take a clip from The Gospel of John video and put it to a Michael Cart song called "Stranger on the Shore." I heard the song and it sounded old school, but I was like "whatevs" and clipped it together. Now as I am finishing up, I am watching the video and listening to the words and am so moved! This stranger on the shore yells out to the disciples in the boat and tells me them to drop there nets into the water, and of course, they come up with a ton of fish! John recognized that it was Jesus and then Peter jumps into the water and swims to Jesus. He was excited to see Him! The get to shore and Jesus has a fire ready and food for them to eat. The next part of the song says:

You need to be confronted
By the Stranger on the shore
You need to have Him search your soul
You need to hear the call
You need to learn exactly
What it means for you to follow
You need to realize that He's asking for your all...

They didn't realize that He was searching all their souls
Then came the painful questions
That would pierce the soul of Simon
A three fold chance to reaffirm the love he had denied
The gentle eyes that saw his heart
And waited for an answer
Had seen the look upon his face
The moment he had lied

I have heard this story so many times...but there was something about visualizing it on the video and seeing Jesus ask Peter 3 times if he loved Him. Peter, becoming more broken with each repeated question. I can relate to Peter. We all can. The same Peter who had denied Jesus out of fear was now having to sit face to face with Jesus and answer an unremarkably hard question: Do you love me? The love here Jesus uses is Agape (ultimate, self-sacrificing love)....but Peter answers with Phileo (brotherly love). Jesus is pleading with Peter to give him everything. Peter, if you love me, feed my lambs; take care of my sheep; feed my sheep. Peter was hurt by the third time Jesus asked, but that repetition was ensuring Peter to really evaluate his love for Christ.

"Jordan, do you love me? Then do my work." I can picture His gentle eyes filled with love and compassion, passing no judgement at all, staring intently into my eyes and straight to the heart. He doesnt have to ask, He knows. Yet he wants me to verbalize my love for Him. I want to cry at His tender tone of voice. I want to scream at Him, "Yes Jesus! I do love you! You know that! Why do you keep asking me?" I am speechless. I know I don't have the answer that he wants. Phileo I have, and I am confident in it. Agape though? I want it. I yearn for it. Jesus I need it! "Follow me" He says, I began to look at other people and compare. "What about them Jesus?" I say. Jordan, if you love me, follow me. I stand and feel the cool sand between my toes. The decision is imminent as Jesus begins walking; do I follow Jesus, surrendering all of my own desires for the rest of my life? Or do I stay seated next to the fire. Jesus words "Do you love me?" ring so loudly in my ears that I am temped to throw my hands up and cover them! Yes Jesus. It is what I want. I want to love you with Agape love and I want to follow you wherever you lead me.

The end of the song is my charge to you:

Now realize that you must
Face and answer all His questions
As you stand before the Stranger
On the shore inside your heart